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Fighting

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Professional Road Rage Drivers Sadly Try to Fight "MMA"

This one happened right in my own backyard, so I feel I gotta do this.  This story took place a whopping 3 minutes away from my hood, so there's already a sense of "what'd the valley do this time?"

Oddly, I thought a saw a promo for this on our local ABC affiliate, but ultimately thought it was another case of my brain having #UFC/#MMA on the mind.  Turns out, I didn't make up anything.  It really was two "professional business dudes, throwing down" and the news was reporting on it.

Before I go any further, a few notes:

  1. Road rage is a real thing in LA.  It makes you do and say crazy things.
  2. The Valley is one of the weirdest places on earth.  To help put that in context, it's the intersection of a portion of the entertainment industry, the porn industry, the meth industry, the gang industry, that also shares a border with upscale rich types who you'd casually see on The Real Housewives franchises and other various reality show contestants.  A real slice of life you might call it.

Anyway, according to the footage, one guy gets out, decks another dude.  They whine about their BMWs or something and then the guy who got decked decides, "hey, that wasn't cool" and applies a rear naked choke.  Cue shock and awe from the mass media.

Some girl, in turn, video records all of this and BAM, you've got eye-witness news.

To be fair, they're right near the 405 -- which is the absolute worst Freeway/Highway known to man -- so heightened tensions are always expected.  But I guess it serves as a nice cautionary tale that even when you least expect it, always be prepared.  I know I'll be working extra hard in my own self-defense classes just to be ready, as I encounter dozens of terrible drivers on a daily basis.

Obviously these guys are idiots and you shouldn't do this, etc. etc. etc.  But if pressed to judge, I'd score the round 10-9 for the guy in the white shirt.

Internet, what did this video teach us today?

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Cinco de Mayo Diaz Bros Style

As you'll see in the video above, Nick Diaz decides to give one of his drunk friends a simulation of what it would be like to fight him in the octagon, only minus all of the taunting and "don't be skurd homie."

A personal favorite is when the art easel falls right on Diaz ("Get the fuck off me easel, this ain't your fight dawg.")

I can't guarantee you this is how the Diaz brothers are celebrating Cinco de Mayo, but, in my brain, this is what it would look like.

Nonetheless, Happy Cinco de Mayo to all of you looking for an excuse to drink the night away. Just remember, tonight everyone's Mexican, which means you're likely to be deported if you're driving through Arizona.

Cheers.

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