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VERBAL TAP (Episode 57): UFC 169 Preview with John Evans

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 57): UFC 169 Preview with John Evans

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Raf's Recollection | It is always a good time when John Evans stops by the podcast. This week, I surprise my slow witted co-host in our latest installment of Over/Under Kevin with the return of John Evans to help us preview UFC 169.

It seems like it’s been forever and a day since we last had John on the podcast, but we get a chance to catch up on what the very busy jiu-jitsu badass and all-around-good-guy has been up to.

And man, has this guy been busy.

Last week, John hosted the very first BJJ Breakdown Blue Belt, Submission Only invitational.  It was a live event that John organized and streamed that featured some great match-ups among some of the most respected blue belts around our community (and ultimately won by the awesome Kyle Buena).

For those who missed the live stream, John just put up the first match from the event up on his YouTube page.  I’d highly encourage you to check it out and keep an eye out at BJJBreakdown YouTube page for even more awesome fights.

Verbal Tap Covers RFA 12

So, not only do we preview who will win UFC 169 with a game of Over/Under Kevin between Evans and Kevin, but we also talk about the awesome time we had covering Resurrection Fighting Alliance 12 last Friday.

The fights did not disappoint.  Not only did we get to see our friends from Systems Trianing Center pull off a hat trick’s worth of submissions at the event (Dmitry Gerasimov, Terrion Wear, and Pedro Munhoz), but the entire fight card from start to finish provided a set of spectacular finishes, knock outs, and battles inside that cage.  It’s no wonder this organization has sent 8 fighters to the UFC recently; the caliber of the fighters involved is nothing short of spectacular.

My eternal thanks to our pal Octavio Villanueva for his fantastic work helping put this all together.  In addition to being an awesome BJJ practitioner, Octavio also put together this fantastic RFA 12 highlight reel that deserves your attention and your likes.

Starting a Rukus

MikeyWe also speak with Fight Music producer Mikey Rukus about his upcoming music tour.  If you’re not familiar with Mikey just yet, chances are you’re already familiar with his work—as he’s provided the walk out entrances to some of your favorite MMA athletes.

Mikey’s about to embark upon a music tour that will be touring alongside the next series of UFC events across the country, so definitely go check him out if you get the chance!

Thank You, Readers (and BJJ Reddit)

BJJ redditWe also talk about the first entry about my BJJ Training Journal series (Shouldn’t You Be a Blue Belt by Now?) and describe how blown away we were by the community’s support (especially the great folks over at BJJ Reddit).

My mind's still blown that an introspective piece about my own experiences would resonate with so many people, but I'm humbled and encouraged by all of your kind words.  It's moments like this that remind me I am involved in the right support and prove why the jiu-jitsu community is the best in sports.  As such, I will continue to keep you updated on my progress through humorous essays and recaps.  Again, thank you all so much.  I can't wait for you to read the next one.

Also, feel free to throw topics and ideas at me.  I'll be happy to write essays and jokes about prompts that you guys throw at me, so feel free to do so over at @VerbalTapCast.

In Case You Missed It

Check out my interview with Ralek Gracie from RFA 12, where we talk about Metamoris 3, why it’s so hard to make money in jiu-jitsu, and why you should buy the live stream of Metamoris 3.

And, don’t sleep on my post-fight interview with recent Verbal Tap guest, Dmitry Gigapet.

Or is it Gerasimov? I can never remember.

That's all for now folks.  We'll see you back here next week with another thrilling installment of Verbal Tap.

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 56) with Cody Bollinger, Marcus Kowal, and Dmitiry Gerasimov

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Cody Bollinger

Raf's Recollection | It's always a good time when our friends drop by to say hello.

This week, we were joined by two Verbal Tap favorites (Cody Bollinger and Marcus Kowal) and a dude who promises to be a welcome addition to the Verbal Tap family (Dmitry Gerasimov).

Cody Bollinger

Just hours after picking up the win in his debut match at the World Series of Fighting 8, Cody stops by the podcast to give us an EXCLUSIVE interview about his win and the crazy couple of weeks he had leading into his fight against Tyson Nam.

What I always like about talking with Cody Bollinger is that he doesn't try to hide anything.  He doesn't give us any spin or PR speaking points, this is a fighter who speaks clearly and honestly about his training regimen, the difficulties he faces, and even what was really going through his head just moments before the judges rendered their decision last Saturday night.

More than anything, we're happy to hear the hard work and perseverance paid off.  To some, Cody may only be known as the guy who missed weight on The Ultimate Fighter.

But around here, he's known as a friend of the podcast who never that set back get him down.  We were stoked to see him pick up the win, especially when you hear the kind of mental endurance the guy had to channel to make it to the fight AND THEN go three grueling rounds with a widely respected opponent like Nam.

Don't Sleep on the Beasts at Systems Training Center

Verbal Tap faithful will know Marcus Kowal as a correspondent for our show.  But there's much more to the guy than just a strange Swedish accent and subversive videos where he interviews himself (he's been called the "Eddie Murphy of MMA" by absolutely no one).

Not only is he the owner of a fantastic gym out in Hawthorne, California (Systems Training Center), but he also happens to be a pretty solid MMA fighter in his own right.  He fights against Zac Chavez at this Friday night's Resurrection Fighting Alliance 12 in Los Angeles.

And he's not the only Systems Training Center fighter to step into the cage, he'll be joined by teammate Dmitry Gerasimov—a Taekwondo black belt with some serious power and rage—who will take on Jordan Isordia on the RFA 12 pre-card.

I mean, just look at the guy.  Everything about Dmitry screams "this. is. SPARTA!!!"

I've had the pleasure (/misfortune) of being friends with these guys for some time and can vouch for their talent and dedication.  The stuff that they're doing over at Systems is truly incredible.

I'd wish them luck in their respective fights, but they each possess a great work ethic that's not the type that really needs the wish of luck.  Rather, I wish them the full opportunity they deserve to display the crazy skills they have in the cage this Friday night.

On the podcast, we talk about their training, their close relationship, and even why the hell these two jokers would even remotely want to do stand up comedy when punching people in the face is so much cooler!!!

I'll be covering the events live this Friday night, so keep it locked down to VerbalTapCast.com and our Twitter for updates all night long!

But Wait, There's More

Kev also debuts his new movie reviewing segment called 'Nuff Said.

- I update my ongoing feud with BJJ Podcast Nemesis, Paul Moran, after Paul double booked one of our guests from last week on his "podcast," Open Mat Radio.  And with full journalistic integrity, I provide a thoroughly comparative analysis between our interview with Matt and Paul's interview with him.  You can head to the following link here to listen to Paul's podcast and quickly realize how right I am about the whole ordeal.

- While you're at it, don't forget to contribute to Matt Kirtley's IndieGogo campaign to help fund a kick ass Reverse Omoplata Instructional.

Also, be on the look out for my BJJ Training Journal blog later this week, as I attempt to give you all an honest look at my training, as we embark upon the never-ending journey that is trying to discover why I continue being so terrible at the sport of jiu-jitsu. 

You can find me on the online directory of BJJTrainingJournal.com at Raf Esparza.

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 54) goes to UFC 168

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Raf’s Recollection: I get the feeling we will be talking about UFC 168 for some time.

It wasn’t the most spectacular set of fights we’ve ever seen, but it was a damn good card.  That’s not the point.

No, the reason I think we’ll be talking about UFC 168 is the fact that we saw some significant items that will leave some lasting impressions.

We saw old school stalwart Chris Leben throw in the towel after surviving a one round affair with Uriah Hall (as Dana White put it in the press conference, “Chris Leben is a tough guy, it’s gotta take a lot for him to quit in that octagon).  We saw Travis Browne capitalize on a major mistake and make Josh Barnett seem almost like an amateur by proxy.  And we saw a crowd favorite push an unbeaten champion in a truly spectacular Fight of the Night in Tate vs. Rousey 2.

But what still remains in most people’s minds is the sight of Anderson Silva falling back and holding his leg in agony.

Between that image and the recent departure of Georges St. Pierre, we now have a UFC without two of it’s biggest stars of the past 10 years.

Like any sports organization, the UFC can (and will) survive without these franchise players, but it’s what these two fighters represented that seems especially disconcerting.  Aside from their professionalism and exemplary martial artist attitudes, both of these charismatic fighters brought a mystique to the game that could captivate audiences and make them excited for just about any match-up that was conceivable (Silva vs. Cote, anyone?  Or how bout St. Pierre vs. Hardy?).

And while the retirement of GSP was a consideration at UFC 167, UFC 168 was the first time we had to seriously consider a world without Anderson Silva and GSP.

At least for a little while.

Certainly, Silva and GSP can come back (I get the impression both will come back), but I believe the untouchable era each of these fighters provided for their respective division is now something of the past.  Sure, Jon Jones looks like he can keep a streak going (and, I believe, will still do great things inside of the octagon for years to come), however, I think the era of fighters with this kind of mystique is gone for the time being.

And maybe that’s a good thing?

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It’s my hope that we will soon see a new set of fighters step up to fill the incredible void these two fighters left.  It’s also my hope we see Silva and GSP back in the ring (as they are both athletes of an incredible caliber).  It’s just my own personal opinion, they will return to the cage just a little more mortal and vulnerable.

As part of our extensive UFC 168 coverage, we bring back our pal Sebastian Vendel-Martinez to talk about his observations from the December 28th card and to take his victory lap over guessing one more correct fight in our last installment of Over/Under Kevin.

What the Hell is UFC's Fight Pass?

Fight PassAt the mid-point of the podcast, I do my damnedest to try and educate Kevin about the UFC Fight Pass.

Educating Kevin on most things is a chore, but trying to teach him about Fight Pass is an extra special kind of headache—as I have to point out obvious reasons why people like us (mainly, idiots with podcasts about MMA) need to spend $10 a month on the damned thing.

Without Fight Pass, we can’t do our job of covering all UFC cards or even executing a One Minute Review of The Ultimate Fighter.  In short, the service is a tool for us to give you the kind of extensive coverage you all deserve as rapid listeners of our podcast.

Why any of you guys (or the casual fan of the UFC) need to order it, however, is a question worthy of discussion.

Because, believe me, no one is arguing that the current inception of Fight Pass is perfect (especially after the WWE walloped the UFC Fight Pass with the introduction of their own subscriber-based network this week), but the UFC’s intention to embrace the digital age is something that is worthy of a view.

We discuss all of the implications of the current implementation of the UFC’s new on-demand service—and ask you guys what you think about the service.  Be sure to hit us up on Twitter to let us know what you think of Fight Pass.

Jiu-Jitsu Rescued My Saturday

IMAG1979There are some days that start off so bad the only remedy is jiu-jitsu.  Such was the case for me Saturday, December 28th.  Without getting into too much detail, my morning started off in a spectacularly annoying fashion and I felt the need to try and rid any negative energy before embarking upon day-and-a-half marathon that is covering a live UFC event.

I’m not the type to let negative energy drag me down for long, so I texted my friend BJJ podcast arch nemesis, Paul Moran (Open Mat Radio), for a recommendation on a good place to train BJJ for the day.  He was nice enough to point me in the direction of his home gym: Sergio Penha’s BJJ Academy.

It didn’t take long for me to grab my gi and make my way over to the gym.

Obviously, I got smashed the entire time (what else is new), but the healing power of jiu-jitsu extends beyond how good you are at it.  Mostly, it’s just the practice of it that can sometimes cure the roughest of days.  The good people at Sergio Penha’s were not only welcoming, but patient and very helpful in trying to correct some of the terrible jiu-jitsu habits I’ve developed over the years.  Within an hour’s worth of time rolling on the mats, I felt a great sense of calm restored in my life.

The people and the environment gave me exactly what I needed that Saturday morning: A sense of feeling like I was at my home gym.  In fact, my only complaint was that I didn’t have the time to stay there longer and roll with everyone.

Paul and Me

I just want to send a big shout out to the good folks over there (including the man, Sergio Penha himself) for making a major difference in my Vegas weekend. I literally could not have done the job I needed to do at the UFC that day without a visit to your gym.  When I get back to Vegas, I will definitely be back to train with you guys again.

But, Paul, just know.  This changes nothing.  You are still my BJJ Podcast Nemesis.

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 53) with Travis Conley

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Raf's Recollection | UFC 168 is upon folks.  I'm currently in Vegas helping the good folks over at MMANYTT with their coverage and things. are. going. fast.

Because of Christmas, all the normal fight week proceedings seem to be happening at a rapid pace.  We've only been in Vegas for a little over 28 hours and we've already done the press conference and weigh ins.  And by this time tomorrow we'll know the answer to who won two of the most heavily anticipated rematches in UFC history.

Ronda vs. Miesha 2.  Anderson and Chris 2.

But the real rivalry we want to know the answer to is: who will win the latest installment of Over/Under Kevin?

With so many crazy betting lines for UFC 168 to choose from, we thought it might be best to consult the idiot savant (emphasis on idiot) Kev Phillips on his picks for this extra special "let's charge you an additional $5" UFC card.  Now, unlike other shows that tout the expertise of their betting advisers, we pride ourselves on being the only podcast to feature an analyst whose opinion carries absolutely no weight on the proceedings.

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In fact, just to make things interesting, we thought we'd bring in someone to challenge Kevin at his own game who is equally as unqualified to make fight predictions.  His name is Sebastian Vendel-Martinez.  He writes for MMANytt.  On the right, you can see a photo of him.  He told me he thinks this picture best shows off his "false professional facade" (I'm inclined to agree).

He's equally offensive and twice as funny as Kevin (which isn't saying much, I know).  Please welcome him to the podcast.

The good news: what these two lack in sound judgment, they more than make up with their delightfully stupid UFC 168 banter.

On a serious note, if you're looking for a guy who does legit UFC betting line breakdowns, show some love to our pal, Daniel Patinkin over at Grappler Media.

And don't forget to keep it locked down here at VerbalTapCast.com and on our Twitter at @VerbalTapCast all day long on Saturday, December 28th for all the best UFC 168 coverage.

But Wait There's More

Turns out, Kevin knows good people.

This week, Kev convinced Underground Gym owner and BJJ badass, Travis Conley to make a stop on our podcast.

Not only is Travis is one of the few people I know who have made the transition from pro wrestling to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (we nerd out about it, and I assure you his story about tag teaming with former WCW great, Marcus "Buff" Bagwell, is worth the price of admission, folks), but he's also building a quite an impressive resume as a conditioning MMA trainer.

What I like about Travis' story is the fact that he fulfilled a lifelong dream of being a pro wrestler only to find a new love in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.  Over the years, he's made a mark in the world of BJJ that's allowed him to travel the globe teaching the gentle art and conducting seminars--and, along the way, discovered a more fulfilling line of work as a trainer.

Which is exactly I got Travis to play a game that combines two of his passions (BJJ and Pro Wrestling) on our podcast.  It's a fun one.

If you happen to live in or travel to the Lees Summit, Missouri area, be sure to drop by his gym, as we are truly fans of folks like him who are doing great work for the BJJ and MMA community.

BJJ Shout Outs

We close out the show with a special set of BJJ-themed shout outs.  Because we were filled with the X-mas spirit, we were happy to shout out some of our BJJ friends' favorite BJJ causes, gyms, and individuals.  Listen in, we might have just shouted you out!

And We Want to Hear From You!

Let us know who you think is gonna win at UFC 168.  Hit us up on Twitter @VerbalTapCast and person with the most accurate picks will get an extended shout out on our next podcast!!!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 51) with Chris Leben

VERBAL TAP (Episode 51) with Chris Leben

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verbal tapRaf’s Recollection | When I had the chance to interview Chris Leben about a year ago, I was prepared for just about anything.

And I mean, anything.

At the time, I didn’t know where the conversation would organically go or what kinds of topics he would be open to talking about.

As one of the longest tenured employees of the UFC (and one of the last original members of the Ultimate Fighter cast still actively fighting), we’ve been privy to the many ups and downs in Leben’s life. Like any of us, Chris has his demons.  However, unlike most of us, he’s had to battle a great deal of them in the public eye.

We’ve all seen the incredible fights.  We’ve witnessed the confrontations from the first season of The Ultimate Fighter. And we’ve read about the changes in training camps and heard about the struggles in his personal life.  It’s all part of the Chris Leben narrative, and all very well-documented.

verbal tapAnd yet, through it all, Chris has remained a fan favorite all of these years for his ability to walk into an octagon as both a showman and enigmatic fighter.

So when I talked with Chris Leben for the first time last year, I found myself pleasantly surprised by his willingness to talk about his past.  Chris doesn’t hide behind it or cleverly find ways to get around questions revolving around it.  He tells you like it is: good, bad, and all that’s in between.

On our latest podcast, we find that Leben is the same candid speaker who reveals how he could have improved the performance of his last fight and what you can expect in his fight against Uriah Hall at UFC 168.  It’s a refreshing kind of honesty in a sport that can often be filled with excuses disguised as explanations.

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But, like any of our interviews, we get to bring out the funny in the fighter.  Chris gets some opportunities with us to joke about Frank Trigg, missed merchandise opportunities, and even former nicknames.

Aside from getting the chance to joke around more this time with Chris, I found the conversation a strong indication of an individual working to make good in their life.

You can hear how happy he is to be part of a new training team.  You can hear the optimism.  You can hear the hunger he has to be a stronger and smarter fighter.

It’s a story we can get behind here at the podcast, as we will definitely be rooting for him come December 28th.

verbal tapBigfoot Silva vs. Hunt

So who thought this was going to be such a great fight?

Be honest.

On the podcast, we discuss our surprise.  And while Kevin tragically works his limited capacity for metaphorical language (he struggles several times during the podcast to come up with different ways of calling these guys “fat”), I think we do a decent job at capturing our relative surprise at how good this fight  actually ended up being.

We’re not really sure what this means for the division (or, frankly, even if we’d want to ruin what we saw by seeing it again in rematch form), but we elaborate some of our favorite observations from the now classic Heavyweight match-up.

verbal tapPaul Walker

Kev and I take a few moments during the podcast to lament the loss of Paul Walker, specifically on behalf of the BJJ community.

It’s been a story that’s bummed out folks for good reason, and the tributes that have poured in for him from fellow BJJ practitioners and enthusiasts alike have been great to read.  We also slightly discuss the need for there to be new ambassadors of the sport who will pick up where he left off.

VERBAL TAP

But Wait, There’s More…

Also on the podcast, we talk to “GSP” about his upcoming press conference that he’s holding on Friday afternoon.  That’s right, Verbal Tap EXCLUSIVE.  GSP reveals what the hell is going on.

Is it a mall opening?  Is he just signing autographs like Dana White said?  Does he have some kind of marketing scheme up his sleeve?

Tune in to find out!

verbal tapOh… and…

Seriously, don’t forget to leave us a review and rating (5 stars!) on our iTunes page. Just look for Verbal Tap Cast

We’ve really been gaining some momentum the past few months and want to start making an even bigger presence on our iTunes page.

So be a pal, click the link HERE, press find in iTunes and then leave us a cool rating and review.  We love the feedback, as it helps us make an even better Verbal Tap podcast for you all.  Thanks much in advance!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 49) with Paul Moran, James Koh, and Davey Grant

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Paul and Me

Raf's Recollection | This is a hell of a show.  We've got a little bit of everything on this one.

We begin with my BJJ podcast arch-nemesis, Paul Moran, from Open Mat Radio who helps us with our comprehensive  coverage of last weekend's FIVE GRAPPLING event out in Anaheim.

Paul describes how the event looked on the live stream and we contrast it to the observations I made while watching the event live.

Obviously, Paul does the best he can to match the superb BJJ analysis and commentary that I bring to the table.  But, along the way, we make some solid observations about the production, presentation, and spectacle that was FIVE GRAPPLING (if you haven't done so yet, check out my EXCLUSIVE interview with James Puopolo above)

Also, we get to know more about Paul and his whole life story blah, blah, blah.  Paul's so great, he's beloved in the jiu-jitsu community, go support his critically acclaimed podcast Open Mat Radio or something.  Boring.  Onto the next guest.

On a serious note, tho.  Check out all that FIVE GRAPPLING had to offer.  The entire event is up for view right here:

James Koh

I have such an appreciation for newscasters who bring a positive perspective to the sport of mixed martial arts.  If you aren't lucky enough to catch the kind of solid work James Koh does out here in LA with his show Cage Talk, you are truly missing out on the work of a sports journalist who shares a true passion for MMA.

Cage Talk is a panel sports talk show that airs immediately after every UFC on FOX telecast.  Not only is it fun and full of energy, but James finds great ways to get UFC Fighters to help break down fights.  It's unlike any other local programming put on by our Los Angeles, FOX 11 affiliate—and it's the perfect show for those who are looking for a lively discussion right after a major UFC card.

I was so glad we were able to get James on to talk about a variety of topics, including last week's Pacquiao fight, comparisons between the UFC and the NBA (don't get Kevin started), and even bring on the UFC Middleweight Champ, "GSP," to respond to criticism James makes about his fighting style.

For more of James Koh, give his work a look right here.

Davey Grant

And, of course, it wouldn't be a true installment of Verbal Tap without another spectacular "1 Minute Review" with yours truly.  This week, we brought in Davey Grant to help us make sense of what the hell went down the week of his semi-final match-up against Anthony Gutierrez.

We learn a little bit more about DJ Davey G and even get a chance to have him try to talk shit to "Chris Holdsworth" on our show.

Truth be told, now that we've had both cast members on the show, Kev and I are going Switzerland on this one and staying out of making any predictions.

We're just looking for a great match between our friends Holdsworth and Grant—and we have no doubt we're in for a great fight.  Truly, may the best man win.

Next Week on Verbal Tap

Don't forget, next week is our big 50th Podcast.  You're definitely gonna want to tune in for that one.  Tell a friend and get excited.

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 48) goes to UFC 167

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verbaltap on itunesRaf's Recollection | It's hard to believe, but It was exactly one year ago that we posted the very first installment of Verbal Tap on the interwebs.

I'd love to say that Kev and I had some grand scheme we had mapped out about how this whole podcasting thing would all play out.  But the rationale behind the creation of this show was pretty simple: We like talking about fights, we thought it might be fun to record a conversation about it.

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When we started this thing, we honestly didn't have a website or t-shirts in mind.  We never thought we'd get the opportunity to interact with some of our favorite athletes—let alone cover events or have them tell us they're fans of our work.

Hell, we weren't even sure people would even want to listen to what we had to say.  But, we've consistently been floored the number of you tune in week in and week out to our show—and who, by extension, have become a part of the Verbal Tap family.

And I'm happy to tell you all that one year later that making the podcast is every bit as fun to me and Kev as it was on day one (you could even say we're more excited to make these episodes now).

That's why we decided to do a throwback episode.  No guests, me doing some shitty impressions, and having a spirited debate about yet another Georges St. Pierre decision win (hint, he appears on the show around the 40 minute mark).

Before we go on to the important things, we just want to thank all of you for tuning in over the past year and for giving us a forum that allows us to combine two of our biggest passions: comedy and MMA.  Without question, our lives have greatly benefited as a result of this podcast.

So thank you to all who have listened in, helped us out, come on as a guest or even just told your friends about our stupid little show.  It's been a blast and we have no intention of slowing down any time soon.

It's your support that allows me to say (without hyperbole) that the best of Verbal Tap has truly yet to come.

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Enough of that Crap, I Went to UFC 167

Turns out, we weren't the only people celebrating an anniversary.  While we turned one, the UFC turned 20 this weekend.   And I was lucky enough to see it all.

On the podcast, I present a Top 10 List of the Most Memorable Things from UFC 167 and give you all the exclusive behind the scenes details from the event.

I also describe what it was like to watch the GSP/Hendricks fight live and then talk about the weirdest press conference I have ever seen in person.

Don't Worry, We Haven't Forgotten About "The Ultimate Fighter"

On this jam-packed episode, we still find the time to review the last two episodes of TUF.  I do two "1 Minute Reviews" and then we talk about the finer parts of Cain Velasquez: Harley Davidson Spokesman, Ronda Rousey: Ultimate Slumber Party Host, and Miesha Tate: The Person Ronda Rousey Still Hates No Matter How Many People She Sends to the Finale.

All this and much more on this week's podcast!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 47) goes to the World Jiu-Jitsu Expo

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Raf's Recollection | If there’s one thing you’ve come to know about me, it’s that I am a perfectionist.

I’ll spend hours revising and polishing drafts because I truly loathe turning in a sub-par product.  It’s part of my overall commitment to an audience and readers: these things may not always be pretty, but we always try to give you 110% here at Verbal Tap (that’s right, we go the extra 10%—even if it means stealing another 10% of energy from other podcasts).

Which is why it pains me to inform you that YES there is a slight audio glitch in the podcast around the 50 minute mark.

There’s a distorted vocal effect that makes us sound like we’re transformers (good news is: if you’re tripping on acid, we sound perfect).  For whatever reason, the podcast Gods overheard me and Kevin having a blast while recording the podcast in the same room (for the very first time) and thought it’d be a perfect time to mess with us.

Nonetheless, the glitch only runs for about a minute or two and I’d hate for that to deter any of you from listening to the awesome shout outs we have to close the show (who knows, one of them might even be YOU!).

IMAG1849Because this was a big weekend, folks.  Probably the biggest weekend in the history of the podcast.

Not only was it the first time Kev and I have been in the same room together in over four years, but it was the first time that we got to cover an event as a united Verbal Tap front.  And let me tell you, the World Jiu-Jitsu Expo was an absolutely amazing experience for us.

We make no secret of the fact that Kevin and I are two huge BJJ enthusiasts and nerds, but this… this was another level all together.  We got to connect with so many individuals who share our passion for our favorite sport and even discovered fans we didn’t know existed (when Keenen Cornelius tells you he likes your stuff, you’re doing ok in the jiu-jitsu community).

Not only did we record a slew of interviews with some of your favorite jiu-jitsu fighters and personalities, but we also recorded a series of video shorts that we are going to be working overtime to try and get up for you guys.  As it stands, we have over 5 hours of content that need to be processed and edited—so I hope you’ll all understand if it takes a little while to sort through all of it.

In the podcast, we talk about our experience at the Expo (including run ins with Renzo Gracie, Big John McCarthy, Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu, MacKenzie Dern, and, hold your breath, Kevin’s man crush Carlos Condit.  We’ve got a Top 10 list of our favorite parts of the World Jiu-Jitsu Expo and we do our best to try and describe the overall experience to those who didn’t (or couldn’t) make it on out.

So please keep a watchful eye on the website.  There are gonna be some great videos from the WJJE (and some other really, really fun stuff as well).

Don’t Worry…

Next week on the podcast we will return with not one, but TWO One-Minute reviews of The Ultimate FighterPlus, I’ll be reporting live from UFC 167 in Vegas this weekend.  So be sure to keep all eyes on VerbalTapCast.com and @VerbalTapCast on Twitter.

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 46) with Cody Bollinger and Sarah Moras

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Raf's Recollection | One of my favorite things about watching people tweet during The Ultimate Fighter is the amount of vitriol that’s spewed at a fighters’ direction.  Certainly, we are no strangers to having fun at the expense of the cast members, but you won’t often find me or Kevin telling the fighters how much better we are than them.

Or how we, ourselves, would have acted so much better in a given situation.

For the record, these are my favorite kinds of tweets, #Humblebrags at the expense of a fighter’s success or misfortune.

Hindsight is a wonderful gift, and I’m sure only a handful cast members ever really know the pressure that comes with living in a house like that for six weeks.

Which is why when Cody Bollinger agreed to come on the podcast, I thought it might be a good idea to read some of the tweets the internet wrote about him (hope one of them was yours, you might have to listen in!)

If you haven’t seen the episode yet (and are patiently waiting for the “One Minute Review” to catch you up to speed), let’s just say things didn’t go well for Cody on last week’s episode.

In fact, they kind went “Dana Meeting” bad.

To his credit, Cody showed up, listened in on our “One Minute Review,” made some comments about the episode, Coach Miesha Tate, and, yes, even responded to some the interesting tweets written about him.

Right after our interview with Cody, Sarah Moras stops by.  Sarah’s been one of my favorites on the TUF because of her awesome talking head segments.

She has a very honest speaking style that never pulls any punches (even when talking about herself).

Sarah describes her history with some of the other TUF cast members, talks a little bit about her trademark arm bar, details where her fighting travels have taken her, the types of guys she trains with and even speaks a little bit about her interactions with the winner of TUF:18’s Best Cameo award, Tim Gorman.

And, in my favorite part of the podcast, Sarah tells us an extended (and much better version) of how she got into MMA and reveals how the very funny "Peggy Morgan is a 'giraffe'" comment happened.

If you get the chance, go support her and our friends over at FightForSomething.ca.  You can pick up one of her fighter t-shirts right here!

Gentleman’s Agreement

One thing that amazes me about the sport of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is the amount of respect displayed between teammates.  It’s one of the reasons I like the sport so much.  I’ve always been the type of person who thrives in team environments and I love that while gyms do a great job at refining an individual’s abilities, it's typically done through a strong team dynamic.

Having said that.  I’m still really confused about the part where you let a teammate win via gentleman’s agreement.

For those not in the know: There is a practice in competitive BJJ where two members of the same team will settle final matches in a jiu-jitsu tournament through a prearranged agreement (where the two fighters do not have to fight).

Yes, you can win a tournament this way.  Yes, it happened at worlds this weekend.

Granted, I recognize what a terrible human being I am.  And, believe me, I’m no authority when it comes to any matter competitive BJJ.  Additionally, I completely understand not wanting to create a rift between teammates—and I even kind of get that it’s the “right thing” to do—but it’s still kinda weird to me.

However, the gentleman’s agreement thing got me and Kev to wonder how a black belt finals match at Worlds between us would look like (I’ll pause for your laughter).  Aside from hilarious and highly improbable, I’d still love to hear what you all think about this BJJ practice.

But Wait, There's More!

We also play another installment of Over/Under Kevin about this week's UFC's Fight for the Troops 3.

Give a listen and let us know what you think of Kevin's picks!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 45) with Josh Hill and Julianna Pena

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 45) with Josh Hill and Julianna Pena

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Raf's Recollection | Take it easy on Kev this week, gang.  It's been a rough couple of days.

When we finished recording the podcast on Sunday, Kev and I had what we considered to be one of our best episodes.  In fact, Kevin was so pleased with the way things were turning out during the editing phase, he actually sent me several texts just to say how awesome the episode was.

Of course, we didn't know this at the time, but that euphoric sentiment would turn out to be the kiss of death.

Just moments after putting the final touches on the podcast (and right as he was uploading it to our site), Kevin happened to notice that his audio went missing.  Something happened during the conversation process that eliminated a significant portion of Kevin's vocal track.

Now, while the thought of having a Kevin-less podcast is something that sounds fantastic in theory, just think about how crazy I would have come off.  Oh sure, my voice would make it seem like I was in the middle of a conversation with someone else, but the large chunks of radio silence from Kevin would have made me sound downright insane.

Just to give you an idea of how the podcast would have sounded without Kevin, please consider the following visual metaphor on the right hand side here.

Anyway, Kev took the day to get his head together and we (somehow) managed to slab together a podcast for your listening pleasure.

In fact, I don't know if it's a testament to his talent or a slight on the production value we normally carry on this dog and pony show, but you can hardly tell there were any major audio problems in this podcast (and if you do, keep it to yourself, please. No one likes a show-off).

Nonetheless, should you feel so inclined, send Kev a nice message (@PhillipsKevin1 on the Twitter) to let him know his efforts are appreciated.  We'll go back to treating him like shit next week.

The Gentleman

While I don't have the kind of extreme beef that Dana White does with "The Gentleman," Josh Hill, I do give him a little bit of grief on the podcast.  It has nothing to do with his (ironically stated) struggle of growing up "really, really ridiculously good looking" or even the fact that he has a truly impressive grappling record of 36-1 (North American Grappling Association).

It has more to do with the fact that he's so damn polite.

It's almost upsetting.

While Dana's spared no expense telling us what a "one trick pony" Josh Hill is throughout the season, I wasn't very surprised when the extremely well-mannered Canadian did the extremely well-mannered Canadian thing of not talking shit about Dana White (the nerve of this guy!).

But that doesn't stop me from trying to prod.  And I'd even like to think we got him to have a couple moments of (dare I say?) "edge" during our interview, where we also ask about his MMA journey, his family's roots in pro wrestling, and his fight against former-opponent-turned pal, Mike Wootten.

We even issue a challenge for the next time he comes on the podcast.  Let's see if he's got the stuff to prove us wrong.

The Vixen

I suppose we could have subtitled this podcast "The Gentleman and The Vixen" (I swear this wasn't by design, I'm only stupidly realizing this now), but we also get the chance to talk with the "Venezuelan Vixen," Julianna Pena.

As one of the first TUF cast members to fight (and therefore share their narrative), we've arguably gotten to know more about Julianna than most of her fellow cast members this season.  We certainly touch on topics like the letters she wrote to her teammates, how it felt to be portrayed as the underdog, and even got to ask if she felt her housemate makeovers paid off.

However, I'll put this out there right here and now:  One of our questions brings out one of the most unexpected stories Kev and I have ever heard on the podcast.  It's a story that not only helps identify what makes Julianna so mentally and physically tough, but also gives you an idea of why she fights.  It's an awesome story and, frankly, I'm happy she was willing to share it with us.

Additionally, if you happen to be in the Spokane, Washington area, be sure to support Julianna's team at Northern Quest Resort and Casino's "Conquest of the Cage," as both her brother-in-law and her training partner Elizabeth Phillips will be fighting in the co-main event.  Tickets for that fight can be found right here.

Machida and MunozOdds and Ends

Among some of the Odds and Ends topics that make it onto the podcast this go round include: Which UFC Fighter would make a great WWE Superstar, how good of a public speaker is Dana White, and why we can't stop talking about Lyoto Machida's scarf.

All this and more on this week's podcast!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 43) with Jessamyn Duke and Chris Holdsworth

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Raf's Recollection | Sometimes the UFC hype machine jumps the gun and overuses the phrase "must see" fight.

We get it, promoting fights is a tough business. And when you promote hundreds of fights a year, you sometimes run out of ways to get people to tune in, sometimes saying the same things over and over again.

For example, fans of The Ultimate Fighter are no strangers to the phrase "you won't want to miss the _______ fight of the season."

Most intense.  Craziest.  Most controversial.  You name the cliche, they've done it.  Thousands of times.

74216_637149146309687_1633711405_nHowever, in the case of Jessamyn Duke and Raquel Pennington, you had a fight that was truly worthy of the UFC hype machine.  And we here at Verbal Tap were lucky enough to get Jessamyn to drop by the podcast to talk about the instant classic fight between her and Raquel.  But that's not all, Jessamyn shares some inside scoops about The Ultimate Fighter house, discusses if she has any regrets missing out on the pre-fight pool party, and listens in on the 1 Minute Review of her episode (letting us know exactly what she thinks of my impression of her).

The Ultimate Fighter Portraits - 2013Moments later, we backtrack and do the episode of The Ultimate Fighter (Episode 5) that Kev pathetically tried to review on the last podcast.  BJJ black belt and TUF cast member Chris Holdsworth drops in to listen to the second 1 Minute Review, describe his fight against Chris Beal, and even takes a moment to critique the season premiere of The Walking Dead(?).  And while you're listening to the podcast, do us a solid and check out the great stuff Holdsworth has over at his personal website ChrisHoldsworthMMA.com (otherwise he's going to beat me up a whole bunch).  The dude is very funny and has already promised to start putting up some awesome videos on his page (we've got some solid BJJ-themed video short ideas if you're up for 'em Holdsworth).

But What About Phil Harris?

UFC 142: Palhares v MassenzioCalm down.  It wouldn't be a true MMA podcast if we didn't cover the controversy surrounding Rousimar Palhares and the "screaming tap" heard all around the world.  Our resident go-to BJJ Expert, BJJ Breakdown's JOHN EVANS, drops by to weigh in on the controversy and tries to explain what the hell happened when when Toquinho caught Mike Pierce in a nasty looking heel hook.

I Trained at Some Guy Named Marcelo Garcia's Academy

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In our shout outs, I describe my training session over at Marcelo's in New York.  I can't say enough good things about the wonderful people over at Marcelo's and the patience they displayed in teaching me techniques that were far beyond my capabilities.  As a complete stranger, they truly treated me like one of their own and were committed to making sure I got the most out of my experience.  I just want to say "thank you" to all of them for being so cool.

It was a nice in a lifetime experience and I truly hope I can return back there some day when I'm somewhat less terrible at jiu-jitsu.

"The Goose"

IMAG1667While we crack wise about the gi I received from BJJHQ in the video above, I can't thank the good people over there enough for sending me the "The Goose" here after hearing me talk about the crack-like addiction I have to purchasing stuff from their website (it's taking in my being not to buy every thing going up on the rolling deals sale right now).  For the last year and a half, I've been rolling with the same (boring) white, judo gi.  And while I love this stupid gi, every time I train, I have to race home to immediately put it in the wash so that I can train again the next day.  And now, I am happy to report that I can now alternate gis and (finally) walk into my jiu-jitsu classes like one of the cool kids with this awesome looking gi.  Serious props to them and Kev and I are going to be filming a video in the near future to show our appreciation.

All I got for now.  Give the podcast a listen folks.  I don't think you'll be disappointed!!!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 42) with Tim Kennedy

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Raf's Recollection | Tim Kennedy wants to die fighting a set of bionic sharks underwater.

Yes, you read that correctly.

That’s really all you need to know about the guy to understand the man (the myth, the legend) that is Tim Kennedy.

Few people truly embrace their inner-crazy the way that Tim Kennedy does. He knows he’s crazy and doesn’t care. In fact, he wants you to embrace the crazy. Should you need further proof, please see Exhibit A below:

Or Exhibit B:

Or Exhibit C:

That last one proves he’s crazy (who re-does a scene from Anchorman? What brave soul would dare do that!?). But recently we’ve seen a different side of Tim Kennedy in that of a UFC roaster.

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For those not in the know: Kennedy was originally supposed to fight Lyoto Machida at next month’s UFC Fight for the Troops 3. Then Michael Bisping had to go and ruin everything by “injuring his eye” (likely story Cyborg Bisping)—forcing the UFC to give Mark Munoz a new opponent for UFC Fight Night 30. That’s when the UFC said, “hey, why don’t we give Machida to Munoz instead?”

So when the Munoz straight up stole Machida, Tim Kennedy did what any unreasonably crazy guy would do: he took to Twitter and called out practically everyone in his division (and even Alistair Overeem for shits and giggles).

But unlike you, me or the thousands of people who take to Twitter to harass their favorite MMA Fighters, Tim Kennedy can actually back up his threats. And while it’s fairly difficult to take a threat from a Green Beret lightly, Kennedy sent out challenges that were filled with irony and self-deprecation.

 

 

And, for a while, the internet was truly being used to its full potential. Finally, the UFC relented and handed Kennedy a fighter worthy of his time: Rafael Natal, a fighter who may or may not understand the hilarious design behind Kennedy’s Twitter attacks.

On the podcast, we get to know the real Tim Kennedy: he figures out how to solve the government shutdown, talks faulty Wikipedia page entries, and even discusses the music he wishes he could walk out to in a fight.

But that’s not all. Turns out, Tim isn’t done attacking prominent figures in the world of Mixed Martial Arts. He continues his roasting of some of the more well-known personalities (no one is safe from this man’s relentless hilarity. No one!). So download the podcast above to listen in for all the fun.

Seth MeyersLive from New York...

Also on the podcast, I give you all the full scoop behind my trip to New York for NBC Late Night Writer’s Workshop and even tell you how great it was to train at Vitor Shaloin’s (let’s just say I have a lot of work to do with my BJJ game, friends).

Give us a listen and let us know what you think, folks!

BTW

If you're looking for a new gi (and who isn't?), you definitely want to give a look to our pals over at VeryHardToSubmit.com.

As someone who got to see a version of this up close, I absolutely love the look of it and actually got to talk with the guy who made it while training at Shaloin's.

I can't recommend it enough, folks.  Give the website a look and give some love to our friends at VHTS!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 40) with Joe Schilling

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Raf's Recollection |There's nothing worse than missing a UFC card.  If you know me, you know I absolutely hate missing a UFC card.

I have a set of calenders in my house and at work that meticulously map out UFC cards, Fight Nights, and Ultimate Fighter episodes months in advance.  But, every so often, you hit a weekend where you have a set of plans you just can't get out of.  That was the case for Saturday Night's UFC 165. Not just for me, but also for my co-host.

Of course, it had to be on a night when a potential Fight of the Year took place.

But fear not Verbal Tap Cast fans, because Kev and I are committed to giving you the very best coverage, we wouldn't just talk blindly about a set of fights we didn't get the chance to watch.  That's why we brought in a panel of folks to help us ring in our 40th episode AND piece together exactly what took place during the fight between Jon Jones and Alexander Gustafsson this weekend.

We start with our pal, Ben Unanaowo(a sports enthusiast/couch potato who's never short on opinions about sports) giving us a play-by-play account of the UFC 165 main event. But we wouldn't be doing our job if we just left it at that.  Given the controversial nature of the fight—with a public outcry among MMA fans who were angry with the judge's decision and the multiple interpretations from spectators on how the fight went down—we decided to bring in two experts to give this epic battle the attention it deserves.

Enter our experts:  Making the case for the Jones, training partner and podcast favorite Bubba McDaniel drops by tell us why the judges were right to score the fight for the champ, while Swedish MMA Fighter Marcus Kowal (and owner of SystemsTrainingCenter.com) makes the case for Gustafsson.  Bubba and Marcus walk us through every angle of the fight and even tell us the implications for the Light Heavyweight division.  And our conversation DOES. NOT. DISAPPOINT.

And if you guys are fans of having experts drop by to talk about the fights, we're more than happy to bring it back and (maybe) even hold a full on debate between panelists on the next go-round for controversial fights like this.  Let us know what you think.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE: That's not all fight fans!  In addition to our signature World Famous "One Minute Review" of this week's The Ultimate Fighter, we also talk with Kickboxer Joe Schilling who fights this Saturday at GLORY Kickboxing in Ontario, California.  In our EXCLUSIVE interview Joe, he talks about how he got the name "Stitch 'Em Up," his gym in Los Angeles (The Yard), his clothing line (Can't Stop Crazy), and we discuss if he's really a bad guy or not (spoiler alert: he's not).

So do us a solid, check it out and let us know what you think!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 39) with Jimmy Quinlan

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Raf's Recollection | Of all the Ultimate Fighter cast members I've done impressions of, perhaps no one has had a better sense of humor about it than  Jimmy "Crash" Quinlan.

On one particular installment of the show (Episode 14), Kev and I spent approximately 10 minutes worth of time discussing the finer points of a Jimmy Quinlan impression.

Which is why it was somewhat refreshing when I ran into Jimmy at the UFC Fan Expo earlier this year, I didn't get punched in the face (he had more than one opportunity to do so).  When you do impressions of folks with such a strong wrestling background, you almost expect to be on the receiving end of one of their patented overhead slam takedowns.  Fortunately for me, Jimmy's always just laughed off the impression and played along.

It also doesn't hurt that Jimmy identifies himself as a bit of a "smart ass."  So not only does that make him exactly the type of person we like talking to on the podcast, but it also makes him the kind of guy who is impervious to comments like "What is happening?" and "wtf am I watching" when he posts videos like this:

Jimmy Quinlan memeWe at Verbal Tap wish nothing but the best to Jimmy as he takes on Luc Bondole at New England Fights' "NEF X" this Saturday at the Androscoggin Bank Colisee in Lewiston, Maine.  For more information about tickets, hit up this website and be sure to follow Jimmy on the Twitter at @JimmyCrashBJJ.

Also on the podcast, we do our World Famous "One Minute Review" of the second episode of The Ultimate Fighter, we play a game of "Over/Under Kevin" to figure out how to bet on this week's UFC 165, and we also chat about this video:

I must have watched this clip over 20 times in the past few days. Maybe it's because it bares a certain resemblance to a Pro Wrestling Hall of Famer's signature move: Rolles Gracie does the best Ric Flair fall I have ever seen in MMA.  Ever.

If you doubt me, simply watch the video above and compare it to the art that is the Ric Flair flop below.  #YoureWelcome

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 38) with Joe Williams

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Raf's Recollection |Have you, like I, been counting down the days until the return of The Ultimate Fighter? I know it's only been five months, but it's felt like an eternity.

For those new to our program (welcome), we here at Verbal Tap live for making fun of The Ultimate Fighter.  We even have a signature portion of our podcast where we review each episode of the telecast in one minute's time (coincidentally named our World Famous "One Minute Review").

What's that?  It's impossible to make fun of all things Ultimate Fighter related in just one minute's time?  Well, I'd invite you to listen to our podcast and try and tell me differently ;-)

Now before any of you TUF purists who are new to the show start trying to troll our comment boards, allow me to say this: Kev and I love the show.  We're huge fight fans and we're rooting for new talent to work it's way through the ranks (one need only to look at the roster of guests we've had come on the show to know how much we support it).

Nonetheless, it's probably important to mention we're going to tell a lot of jokes at the show's expense.  We're gonna make fun of the fighters.  And we're gonna have a blast doing it, so don't take it too seriously folks. So sit back and check out our first Ultimate Fighter review, we're gonna make it a blast for you all this season.

But that's not all we've got for you this week.  In addition to discussing last week's UFC Fight Night 28, we also talk to Fight Master's Joe Williams.

What you may know about Joe "Mongo" Williams from the show is that he's a strong competitor with a fantastic wrestling background.  What you might not know is that he is secretly a comic at heart.

You read that right.

Additionally, we talk about Joe's next fight, some pranks that happened between Team Shamrock and Team Warren that never made it to air, and we even get Joe to play a game of Rep that Tweet with us.

So download the podcast and let us know what you think, folks!

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VERBAL TAP (Episode 37) with Artechoke Media

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Raf's Recollection | If you practice Brazilian jiu-jitsu, the meme over on the right hand side here pretty much says it all.

As much as we want to go around and spread to the gospel of BJJ to our friends and family, there are some who—despite our best efforts—will never care about the "gentle art."

I know it hurts to hear. I know that it's a lot to take in all at once.  But it's better that it comes from someone who cares.

The realization that some people will never care about a sport that you and I love so much is a fact of life that stings and sometimes causes us great emotional strife (stay with me here, it's going to get better.  Promise).

Our guests on Episode 37 of Verbal Tap know this struggle all-too-well.  Marshal D. Carper and Darryl Cozza are two BJJ practitioners who wrote an uproarious eBook entitled, Don't Wear Your Gi to the Bar, that teaches you how to survive everyday social settings while still preserving your inner BJJ nerd.

And in Verbal Tap first, I'm gonna go ahead and put this as the very first book to receive MUST READ status from our podcast (calm down, we're not starting a book club yet or anything).

Aside from an obvious love of sport, there's a real wit in this eBook that accurately describes the losing battle that is explaining the culture, beauty, and art of Brazilian jiu-jitsu to people who just can't get past why you like dressing up in pajamas and choking your friends.

Wanna know the most insane part?

These guys aren't even charging you a single dollar to read it?  Simply follow this link and download it from their website.  All for Free.99.

Don't Wear Your Gi to the BarAll the guys ask in return is that you share the book with your training partners and other BJJ enthusiasts (and maybe even drop a five star review on sites like Amazon if you dig it).  Also, for you non-cheapskates who like to promote authors on the independent circuit (like a real American), there's also an option to buy a version of their book.

While the book is a great display of subversive humor, there's more to Marshal and Darryl than well-written jokes and Game of Thrones/BJJ metaphors.

They're not just funny, their BJJ knowledge is legit.

Artechoke MediaAs we discover in the podcast, the eBook is only the first in a long line of instructional BJJ videos and articles from the pair.  Recently, the duo have launched their own online venture entitled, ArtechokeMedia.com, a website that's designed to promote "the organic growth of jiu-jitsu thought, theory, and technique."  The guys were nice enough to send a preview of their next project to Kev and I during the podcast--and all we can say is that you all are in for a treat when they launch it in the coming months.

It's truly spectacular.

And, for me, that's what made this booking so great.  While we do our fair share of talking with pro fighters and MMA personalities, at our core Kev and I are major BJJ enthusiasts.  When you hear these two explain the rationale behind the website (they want to shine a light on the unsung heroes of BJJ such as coaches, instructors, and mentors who may not necessarily be on the covers of magazines, but who make significant contributions to the sport), it's hard not to do the same and give a voice to two individuals who, themselves, are doing exactly that through their humorous writing and insightful videos.

Maybe that's why we like the sport so much.  There's a camaraderie in jiu-jitsu that extends beyond the walls of a gym or a dojo, independent of affiliation and ranks, that consistently introduces us to people like this.  Even though we have never physically met Marshal or Darryl, our overall hope of growing and sharing the sport is one and the same and Kev and I would be down to roll with them when/if the opportunity presented itself.*

Of course, cool people like us already know the caliber of folks who train BJJ.  Even that smug, appropriately cast "Gatsby" Leo DiCaprio meme knows the deal.

So check 'em out on our podcast and while you wait for the episode to download, enjoy Marshal and Darryl at their finest.

*However, if when I actually meet them they're a couple of d-bags, I reserve the right to take all of this back

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