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27 Things We Learned from UFC Fight Night 27

UFC Fight Nights come and go so fast you miss the story behind the story.  Don’t worry, Raf’s got you covered. In honor of this being the 27th installment of UFC Fight Night, please enjoy the 27 things that we learned from last night's card.

1.  Sometimes a weigh in photo op is indicative of the kind of fight you will see on a UFC card.

2.  Sometimes not.

3.  Sometimes Brad Tavares just can't choose which hand gesture he wants to pose with.

4.  We're pretty sure we discovered the real identity of Rey Mysterio Jr.

5.  According to Dana White, this is not an illegal knee.

Not an Illegal Knee

6.  According to Jon Anik, Ref Gary Copeland refers to himself as "Mini-Brock." We prefer to think he looks more like a retired and suburbanized Duke Nukem.

7.  Ben Alloway seriously named his son after Chael P. Sonnen. 

8.  And while he didn't come up with a victory, at least he can tell his son he was beaten by a guy who was trained by the man he was named after.

9.  Try as we might, a fighter has yet to tap to a figure four leg lock while inside the octagon (yet).

10.  This kind of knock out never gets old.

11.  During a post-fight interview, it's ok to grab hold of a strand of hair from your mullet to help you maintain your composure.

12.  There's no way around it, Dylan Andrews always looks confused when he's fighting.

13.  Brad Tavares and Bubba McDaniel totally made out during their fight.

14.  Bubba might have gotten distracted when he saw his own reflection on one of the monitors.

15.  Takeya Mizugaki is either really happy about his split decision win or really adamant about doing the Pledge of Allegiance.

16.  Do NOT give Kelvin Gastelum a second to take your back. EVER.

17.  Gastelum does a pretty good Robert DeNiro impression.

 

 

18.  Court McGee and Robert Whittaker hit each other so hard during their fight they ended up looking like two drunk people trying to help each other walk home from the bar.

19.  Rafael Dos Anjos really distrusts the people sitting in the cheap seats.

20.  Before every fight, Carlos Condit likes to pretend he just kicked a game-winning field goal.

21.  Carlos Condit is famous for having some of the bloodiest matches in the UFC.

22.  And last night was no different.

23.  Naturally, when my Verbal Tap Podcast co-host, Kevin T. Phillips, heard Condit started bleeding in his match against Kampmann he was all like...

24.  And just in case some of you aren't sure if Kevin is serious about his Carlos Condit man-crush (and that it's just a running gag we do on the podcast), please allow me to submit Exhibit A:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25.  Yes.  Those are all Kevin's real tweets.  No, he has absolutely no idea I just did that (#SorryImNotSorry, Kev).

26.  Condit continues to pray his restraining order against Kev will go through.

27.  Meanwhile, Kampmann's just kinda bummed Kev has no love for him!

That'll do it for our "analysis" of UFC Fight Night 27.  If you guys see photos after an event that you feel teach us a lesson, be sure to send 'em are way so we can write some shitty jokes at their expense.

Thanks for sticking around, we'll see you again after UFC 164!  If you like our jokes here, don't forget to check out our podcasts right here at VerbalTapCast.com!

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28 Things We Learned from UFC Fight Night on Fox Sports 1

Sometimes a UFC Fight Night comes and goes so fast you miss the story behind the story.  Don't worry, Raf's got you covered.  Check out the 28 things that we learned from the premiere of Fox Sports 1 (a.k.a. "Fox Sports Juan"). 1.  Sometimes you can have the best guillotine of the evening and still lose the Submission of the Night bonus to some other guy.

2.  Never let Ovince St. Preux inside of your guard.

3.  This is what Ronda Rousey would look like if she starred in a sequel to a Nicholas Sparks movie. #TheNotebook2

 

4.  Sometimes if a fight is too close to call the judges will side with the person who took more time to put on their shirt.

5.  It's never impolite to ask the ref, "do I have to hit this guy anymore?"

6.  Try as we might, fights are not "Best 2/3."

7.  For whatever reason, Conor McGregor was really over with this crowd. #Boston #Irish #Drunk

8.  The best offense does not involve letting your opponent tire out his fists by hitting you multiple times in the face.

9.  Turns out, Wet Willies have no effect on Max Holloway.

10.  Sometimes Conor McGregor thinks he's the Irish Batman.

11.  Maybe everyone deserved a Submission of the Night bonus?

12.  Yeah, basically jiu-jitsu is pretty awesome.

13.  Brad Pickett does a pretty sweet impression of a Picasso painting.

14.  A knuckle sandwich is a real thing.

15.  This is the last time Uriah Hall ever takes a page out of Chun Li's playbook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

16.  Uriah might have lost the fight the minute he got caught trying to complete the maze in John Howard's hair.

17.  Uriah's pretty much over this decision. But in all fairness, Howard did throw more high fives during the fight.

18.  Matt Brown was probably a little more inspired to knock out Mike Pyle after getting the bird flipped at him inside the cage.

20.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, how the shit did this happen so fast?

21.  "Oh, pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease work, I'm so losing..."

22.  "No way, that worked!"

23.  "Oh my God, everything hurts BUT THIS IS AMAZING!"

24.  Best Belly-to-Belly guard pull ever.

25.  "Is Chael Sonnen gonna have to choke a bitch?"

26.  Seems Chael is one of the few lucky enough to know "levitation guard."

27.  Joe Rogan has no problem being called "a middle-aged comedian", as long as it comes from the Don Rickels of MMA.

28.  "No, but seriously... can someone explain what just happened?"

That'll do it for us.  If for some reason you missed some of the highlights, here are a few Fox Sports Juan put together for everyone to enjoy.  It's perfect for the person who's said, "you know, I like my slow motion replays, but I just wish they were shown at a much slower frame rate."

Good night and good fight, golks.

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